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Saturday, January 22

My Bleeding Heart

I've been to a lot of job interviews in the past 6 months, and just got home from one in fact! One of the most common questions is, "What is your greatest weakness?" and I've got my answer down pat: I'm too sensitive. I always note that in certain situations, extreme sensitivity can be a good thing. For the most part, however, I am entirely too vulnerable.

I was at a friend's house last night and decided to check my e-mail. I read a message from my father-in-law detailing the final days of their dog Hercules who was 15 years old and so sweet. I had a complete melt-down in the middle of the room. I tried to just put it away and not say anything so as not to upset Rush, but it was impossible. I was already a bit fragile because we finally disposed of Douglas (our Christmas tree) and I just couldn't hold myself together. My precious husband, of course, was then comforting me over the death of his family pet. I'm pathetic and ashamed.

This occurrence is not completely unlike the multiple times that I have had to leave a restaurant because I couldn't contain myself when I saw a sad-looking person eating alone. I somehow concoct these stories in my head of unrequited romance or lost loved-ones and I cease to function as a rational human being. Given that, I'm sure you can imagine how I react when witnessing real tragedy. It's a serious problem.

So where's the good? These exaggerated responses only seem to cause additional strife for myself. And my family. And my friends. And basically anyone with whom I come in contact. I like to think it also gifts me with a capacity for empathy that others may not posses. I'm not great at listening or giving advice, but if it's compassion you're looking for, I'm your girl.

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